Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
