RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Terrible idea I love it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
