I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
