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Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
