You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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