Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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