Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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