FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
