By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
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