You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
