so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
