even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
