? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He felt like a one man threesome
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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