Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
