does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
