I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
