It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
