Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
