He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
