My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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