Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
