The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
