New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
