I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
