I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
whose parrot is this?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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