found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
