Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
