Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think your dad took our porno
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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