I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
