So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it hurts more in the daytime
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
