so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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