Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
should my penis look like a turkey
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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