U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
