wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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