so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That accounts for only three of the penises
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
