I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
