Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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