Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
