I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
