Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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