I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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