So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
