I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
