I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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