we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
