She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
