Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm at about main and main street
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
