Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
