bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
