I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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