I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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