Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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