I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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