you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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