No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
