He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
did i walk over a car last night?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize